Come on, man, just one drink

This Saturday we were at a Diwali party. Four of us sat down with some good sipping tequila. Everyone had a glass except one friend.

That was unusual. He drinks. On my last visit to his place, he made some good cocktails. So I pushed. “Come on, man. Have a drink.”

He said no. He’s in great shape these days. Then he said, “Dude, you’re the one posting about health on LinkedIn.”

I had an answer ready. It’s good for mental health. Sitting down with old friends and a drink is how you remember who you were together. Especially on an annual occasion like Diwali. We may only have 20 to 30 more Diwalis to celebrate together in this world.

It sounded reasonable. But every claim I make has to survive its source. So I checked mine.

The idea that light drinking is good for you came from studies where light drinkers outlived non-drinkers. But many of those non-drinkers were former drinkers. A lot of people quit because they are already sick. That made the drink look better than it was.

A 2023 meta-analysis of 107 studies and 4.8 million people fixed that comparison. Light drinkers were not measurably better off than people who never drank.

To be fair to myself, it doesn’t say one tequila hurts you. Risk only rose clearly from about two drinks a day for women and three for men. And it measures death, not mood.

Zhao et al, JAMA Network Open 2023. Alcohol intake and all-cause mortality: 107 cohort studies, 4,838,825 people.

Social ties are a different story. A 2010 meta-analysis of 148 studies and about 309,000 people found that people with stronger social relationships had a 50% greater likelihood of survival. The authors put that on par with quitting smoking. It is association, not proof. But it is consistent.

Holt-Lunstad, Smith & Layton, PLoS Medicine 2010. Social relationships and mortality risk: 148 studies, 308,849 people.

So I was half right. Something that evening was good for me. It just wasn’t in the glass. It was around the table.

Saying no while everyone else holds a drink is hard. It’s harder when a friend is pushing you. He didn’t make a speech. He just stuck to what he had decided, and used my own words to do it.

The Independence Number is about walking speed, balance and getting off the floor. But what do you want those for at 85? Getting yourself to dinner. Sitting down with people you have known for forty years.

Independence isn’t only what your legs can do. It’s also who is still at the table.

Keep the evening. Make the glass optional. Next round, I’m getting him whatever he’s having.